Will Need Therapy After The Doctor

(I am sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, playing on my phone, when a regular customer from my office comes into the room and recognizes me. I know his face, but I don’t know his name or anything about him unless it’s on my work computer.)

Regular: “Hey, don’t you work over at [Local Cable Company]?”

Me: “Yes, I do.”

(I really just want sit there in peace, but I now know this won’t be a possibility.)

Regular: “You’re still over there?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

(He sits down next to me.)

Regular: “You probably don’t like to talk about work when you’re not there, huh?”

Me: “No, I usually don’t.”

Regular: “So, I’ve got this problem with my box in my bedroom. I’ve got a couple of boxes, but you know that already.”

Me: “…”

Regular: “So, this box… When I’m using the remote, it freezes up when I’m changing channels, as you know already, and the girl upstairs from me is a tech for you guys. You know who I’m talking about.”

Me: “…”

Regular: “So, she and the other girl, they’re, you know, ‘together,’ and we don’t really get along. I think she’s hacking into my box.”

Me: *long pause* “It’s most likely that your box is just getting old and it’s time to get a newer model. If not that, then it’s likely that your signal levels might be a bit off.”

Regular: “I don’t know. She really doesn’t like me, and I think she’s trying to get back at me.”

Me: “I think it’s unlikely that she would hack into your cable box just to slow down your ability to change channels.”

Regular: “Oh! You don’t think so?”

Me: “No, I think it’s more likely that it’s just time to replace your box.”

Regular: “Oh, okay.” *pause* “I’ve been having trouble getting Windows 10 to install…”

(He grilled me for another ten minutes about random software issues until I was mercifully called in to see the doctor.)