Will Need A Stronger Cleaning Meth-od

, , , , , | Right | September 13, 2018

(I work at a call center that offers in-home carpet cleaning services. We are the call center for a branch in Greenville, South Carolina, as well, and one day I get a call from an older woman in the Greenville area.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. Are you calling for carpets, or air ducts?”

(The customer answers in a very fragile, delicate voice.)

Customer: “Yes, um, I was calling about seeing to get some carpets cleaned.”

Me: “Of course! I can help you out with that for sure. Let me get the zip code of your area to make sure we can service you.”

Customer: “Yes, my zip code is [zip code].”

(I enter the zip code to find we do, in fact, service her area.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, we can come out to service you. How many rooms of carpet would you like to have cleaned?”

Customer: “Well, let’s see… It’ll probably be maybe two or three rooms?”

Me: “Perfect, we actually have a three-room special we are running right now that we can cover you under. Is there a particular day you would like me to look at scheduling for?”

(We go through the process of picking a time and day for her cleaning, and then I do the standard run-through of information the customer needs to know about additional costs and preparing for the cleaning.)

Customer: “Yes, that all sounds lovely. I had a question about the cleaning before I let you go.”

Me: “Of course! What was your question?”

Customer: “I was wondering if you think that this cleaning will get meth out of the carpets? You see, I had some young people living here, and they got it all over the carpets. Do you think that will come out during the cleaning?”

Me: *trying to muffle my astonishment* “Um, I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t think that we will be able to get that out of the carpet.”

Customer: “Oh, dear… Well, do you think if I vacuum it up, it will come out?”

(I am extremely taken aback by the strange turn of events.)

Me: “I really couldn’t say, ma’am. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Oh, well, that’s all right, deary. Do you know anyone I could call who could get it out?”

Me: *still trying to hide my astonishment* “N-no, ma’am, I’m sorry about that.”

Customer: “Well, I guess I’ll just have to see… Thank you so much for your help.” *click*

(I later relayed to my coworkers and my manager what had just happened. That was by far the strangest request for carpet cleaning I had ever received.)

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