Will Need A Drink And A Smoke When They Get Home

(A customer walks up to my register.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “Not good. I got a call saying that people are breaking into my house!”

(I quickly scan her items.)

Me: “Do you have a frequent shopper number with us?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I’m in too much of a hurry to use it. People are breaking into my house!”

(She was buying vodka and cigarettes…)