Will Have To Take His Query With A Pinch Of Saltwater
(I am a manager at a pet store. I notice customer looking at the fish so I greet him.)
Me: “Hello, can I help you find anything today?”
Customer: “I have a fish tank I set up last week and I’m ready to put a ‘Nemo fish’ in it.” *I assume he means a clown fish*
Me: “Salt water is always fun. We have a few different species of clown fish as well as other species of fish that can go with them.”
Customer: “I already picked the others I want.” *walks me over to the platys*
Me: “You said you have a saltwater set, right?”
Customer: “That’s right.”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but platys are fresh water and unable to live in salt water.”
Customer: “So they can’t live together?”
Me: “I’m sorry, but no.”
Customer: “Well, what do I need so they can live together?”
Me: “I’m sorry, sir… they can’t. One is freshwater and the other is saltwater.”
Customer: “But what do I need so I can mix them?”
Me: “Sir, as I said, they can’t be mixed. It’s biologically impossible to mix them. They need opposite types of water to live, salt or fresh.”
Customer: “Listen to me, god d*** it! Just tell me what I need to put them in the same tank!”
Me: “The only way to keep them in the same tank is if you have a tank divider and make one side freshwater and the other side salt water.”
Customer: “Well I might as well have two tanks then, but I’m not buying another f****** tank. NOW! WHAT DO I NEED TO HAVE BOTH OF THOSE FISH IN THE SAME DAMN TANK!”
(At this point I’m not sure how I can more accurately explain why this wont work the way he wants. He starts cursing at me to fix his problem and becomes very irate.)
Me: “Well, sir, you’re going to have to engineer a new fish that can live in both, and if you manage that I’m sure will win some kind of prize.”
(The tank ended up being a one-gallon desktop tank, although this was not as bad as a customer that got mad because I would not sell them a bearded dragon, a turtle, and a scorpion to all live in the same 10-gallon tank. That one wanted the animals to be friends and said I was stupid when I told her they would kill each other.)
