Will Have To Decline In View Of Your Terrible Geography

(I work for a large hotel company that has many locations. The hotel where I work is in downtown Washington, DC. The phone rings.)

Me: “Hello! My name is [My Name]. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Hello. I’d like to make a booking for a room with an ocean and beach view.”

Me: “Oh, this is actually [Hotel] in Washington, DC. Did you mean to call a different location?”

Caller: “No, I’m calling [Hotel] in Washington, DC.”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry, but there’s no ocean in Washington, DC.”

(A couple of my coworkers turn around to look at me with raised eyebrows when I say this.)

Caller: “Oh, well just any view, then, I guess.”