Will Have To Get The Little Snappers A Different Pet

(A woman and two small children come up to the counter with a cardboard box.)

Woman: “Hello. My children found this turtle in a nearby pond and I want to know how to take care of it.”

Me: “I normally recommend leaving wild animals where they are.”

Woman: “They really want to keep him. Will you help us or not?”

Me: *groaning internally* “Okay, let me get a look at the little guy.”

Woman: *removes the lid* “What do you suggest?”

Me: “Yeah, you’re going to want to put him back.”

Woman: “What? My boys are attached to him and you want me to take him away from them?!”

Me: “That’s a snapping turtle. He’s going to move from feeder fish to fingers really fast.”

Woman: “Any recommendations on where to release him?”