Will Get A Chilly Reception From Now On

(I’m looking round a food market with some friends. I pause to look at a wok filled with a chicken and rice dish, which looks interesting but smells a bit hot.)

Vendor: “Would you like to try a spoon-full?”

Me: “It’s not spicy, is it?”

Vendor: “Oh, no.”

Me: “Not at all?”

Vendor: “Nope.”

Me: “I actually mean that. I have very low tolerance of spice.”

Vendor: “Nothing to worry about.”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude; it’s just I get people who’ll tell me ‘This isn’t spicy at all. Just a couple of chilies to bring the flavor out.’”

Friend: “You are being rude.”

Me: “Sorry. I didn’t mean to accuse you of that. I’m a fussy eater, you see.”

Vendor: “Actually—”

(Too late. I take a bite and feel a slight but noticeable burning, which it takes some effort not to respond to.)

Vendor: “Yeah, that thing you said about the chilies…? It’s actually true.”