Will Call You In The Future

On the IRS website, you can track the status of your tax return. At our office, we often will do so for clients who call in.

It is the last day of tax season. If the call is not about setting up an appointment or providing details about a return in progress, the policy is to tell them we can’t help them. A woman calls in.

Caller: “I need you to help me look up my refund and when it will arrive.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we can’t do this on the last day, but I’ll be more than happy to do so tomorrow.”

Caller: “I already paid you for my taxes, and it’s my money, so you d*** well better look it up for me!”

Me: “I’m afraid we cannot, and we do not have the tools or resources.”

Caller: “Manager.”

Me: “The manager is busy with someone else but I can put you on hold and they will get to you.”

She hangs up before the manager can get to that line forty-five minutes later — we are VERY busy — and calls back an hour after that. I recognize her voice and repeat that we can’t help her get her refund status.

Caller: “How can you even know what I want if I ain’t even told you my name yet?”

Me: “Because I’m psychic.”

Caller: “Well, Mr. Psychic Man, I want you doing my taxes next year.”

Me: “Very well. What’s your name, so I can make sure you get an appointment with me?”

Caller: “You’re the psychic. Figure it out.” *Click*

I laughed about that for a good while after.