Will Aid You Out Of The Line

(I’m a manager at a popular fast food restaurant. I’m making sandwiches for the drive-thru when my dining room cashier asks me to come talk to a customer who has a problem with my flamboyantly gay dining room sandwich maker. The customer is a short, scrawny, stereotypical redneck type. I’m a pretty big guy.)

Me: “What can I do for you, sir?”

Customer: “Can you make my order? I don’t want that [homophobic slur] touching my food.”

Me: “Well, this presents a problem. Because this [homophobic slur] is swamped with orders for the drive-thru. I’m going to resolve this dilemma by politely refusing you service and asking you to leave.”

(The homophobe starts ranting about how gays shouldn’t be allowed to handle food because we all have AIDS, and other insanity.)

Me: “Say another word, and I’ll remove you from the premises myself, and everybody in town will hear about how you got your a** kicked by a gay guy.”

(He left as I started to take off my tie.)