Will A Goose Work If I Can’t Find A Duck?
My brother and I have a very good joking relationship where we make fun of each other in both English and occasionally our second language, Russian.
This occurs when I call him to ask him for some help with my garden.
Me: “Hey, Baranovich—” *Affectionate name for a sheep* “—I sent you a photo of my lemon tree looking a bit s***. Can you help?”
Brother: “Yeah, hang on.” *Looks at the photo* “Look, Durak—” *Idiot* “—go to [Store] and get the white oil with chili and lemon.”
Me: “Okay, so I just spray that on?”
Brother: “So, first you sacrifice a duck, then face west, hold it up, and yell, ‘Ayayayaya!’, and then throw it at your neighbour, and the oil will work.”
Me: “So, do I wear the bucket on my left foot or my right foot?”
Brother: “Nah, on your head.”
Me: “Okay, thanks, little bro. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
We’re both in our thirties and I don’t think we’ll ever change.