Wi-Fi And Ice Cream And Cancer, Oh My!

(I work in a movie theater. It’s about an hour after we’ve closed. Movies are still playing and getting out, but the concession stand can’t sell anything as none of our POS systems are open and everything is locked. We’re still in the stand closing stuff when a guest comes to me.)

Guest: “Hey, what’s your guys’ Wi-Fi password?”

Me: “We actually don’t have Wi-Fi; it might actually be from next door.”

Guest: “Oh, okay.” *pulls out his wallet* “Can I buy ice cream?”

Me: “Unfortunately, we’re closed, so I can’t sell you anything.”

Guest: “But can I buy ice cream?”

Me: “No. Like I said, we are closed; none of our POS stations are open.”

Guest: “Can I give you five dollars and get ice cream?”

Me: “No, sir, I can’t sell you anything.”

Guest: “How much is your ice cream?”

Me: “It’s [price].”

Guest: “Can I give you five dollars and get ice cream?”

Me: “The concession stand is closed. None of our POS stations are open, and there is no money in the registers, so I would be unable to give you your change back.”

Guest: “I don’t care if I get my change back!”

(I go over to the fridge holding the ice cream and shake the padlock.)

Me: “Sorry, man.”

Guest: *very fake cough* “Would you say that to someone dying of cancer?”

Me: *observing he looks VERY healthy* “Sorry.”

Guest: “I’m going to post on Facebook!”

Me: “That’s fine.”

(My manager comes over because she told me told me I could go home two minutes ago.)

Manager: “Hey.”

Guest: “Could I get ice cream?”

Manager: “We’re closed.”

Guest: “Oh… Okay.” *leaves*

(I still don’t entirely understand why it took two minutes and a manager saying the exact same thing for him to finally understand what I said in the first place.)