Wi-Far

I work at a big-box electronics store. A man comes up holding a Wi-Fi router.

Customer: “Yeah, I need to return this. It’s broken.”

Me: “Okay, what’s the issue?”

Customer: “It only works in my house.”

Me: “…Where else were you expecting it to work?”

Customer: “On my drive to work.”

He stares at me, completely serious.

Me: “Sir, Wi-Fi routers have a range of about a hundred feet. They’re not… satellites.”

Customer: “That’s dumb. I paid for unlimited internet.”

Me: “Unlimited data, not unlimited distance.”

Customer: “Unlimited means unlimited!”

Me: “Sir, if you figure out how to beam your home Wi-Fi down the interstate, please come back. We’ll name the store after you.”