Why Won’t Jew Buy It?

(I’m walking through the mall on a weekday. There aren’t many people walking around, so the vendors that stand in the walkways seem extra persistent to make sales. I accidently make eye contact with one of the vendors and he pulls me in. He explains that he’s selling a type of nail file and lotion made from salt from the Dead Sea. The product happens to be really expensive; more than an unemployed college student like me can afford, but he won’t listen to why I won’t buy the file.)

Vendor: “Okay, just for you I’ll make a special college price. How about $75.00?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I really can’t afford it.”

Vendor: “You just don’t understand how much of a good deal this is! My file will make your nails sparkle and the lotion will make your hands feel like silk! $75.00 is a bargain!”

Me: “I believe you, but as I’ve already mentioned several times I can’t afford it. It’s just too expensive.”

Vendor: “But it’s a steal at that price! You’re just skeptical. You can trust me, though. I’m a nice Jewish boy so I know all about the Dead Sea.”

Me: “That’s great, and I believe you, but that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t afford it.”

Vendor: “But you can trust me! I’m a nice Jewish boy! I grew up by the Dead Sea and can assure you this product works like a miracle!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not buying it.”

Vendor: “But I’m a nice Jewish boy!”

Me: “You may be a nice Jewish boy, but if you don’t let me go I’ll turn into a not-so-nice Christian girl. If you don’t want me to pull my Bible out and try to convert you, I’d suggest you let me go.”

Vendor: “But… I’m a nice Jewish boy.”

(He still didn’t listen and continued to try to get me to buy the file and lotion. I did have a Bible with me and as soon as I pulled it out he got the hint and let me leave.)