Why We Can’t Rent Nice Things

We sometimes rent out our upstairs (which has a kitchenette) on Airbnb. We’ve had perfect reviews so far — people have complimented us on how great the place is, how clean it is, and how much they like it. One guest even compared it to a five-star hotel in their review!

On Friday evening, we get in a guest. They check in late at 11:00 pm and compliment us on the place. However, we hear the guest leave and it doesn’t appear they come back for the night for some reason. At 6:00 am on Saturday, we hear pounding on the door upstairs so loudly that the entire house is shaking. My husband peeks out the window close to the stairs leading up to the door and asks the intruder to leave, who identifies himself as a friend of our guest. He goes back and forth many times with the guy, refusing to let him in, and the guy keeps repeating, “Well, what am I going to do?”

Not our problem, buddy. He leaves and I go back to sleep, while my husband cannot sleep.

Later on that day, the guest returns and invites the friend (who was banging on the door) in. They spend the evening being kind of loud and obnoxious, and we text the guest, asking that the friend leave for the night (since the suite was booked by only the guest) and reminding them that they need to be quiet at 11:00 pm. We don’t think the friend ever leaves, and the same noisy routine repeats the following evening.

The morning the guest and friend leave, I go upstairs to see the condition of the suite. To my horror, it reeks of cigarette smoke. Upset, I simply message the guest to inform them of this. The guest then calls a while later, insisting that there’s no way it smells like smoke, that they only smoked outside, and denying over and over that the place could actually smell like smoke.

Thankfully, after airing the suite out (including during a snowstorm, so we have to get the snow out of the suite), the smell disappears completely. I message the guest to update them and thank them for clarifying that they, in fact, did not smoke inside.

Sadly, the guest leaves us a negative review, saying that they wouldn’t recommend staying there and that I wasn’t “nice.” They then give us one-star reviews each for cleanliness and for accuracy. For some reason, even though they initially told us the suite was great, they are so upset about the conversation about the smell that they’ve decided to ding us for things that were actually not an issue.

Oh, and our house rules stated that no smoking was allowed on the premises, but the guest was smoking on the balcony and left ashes everywhere. I also find remnants of a joint they were rolling up in the crevices of the coffee table.

I have no patience left for people who refuse to take accountability for their actions, and the app wouldn’t do anything for us, saying that the ratings and review would stay.

I don’t think we will be hosting anyone else anytime soon.