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Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

, , | Right | February 11, 2009

(I was sitting behind the counter drinking coffee when a woman walked up to me.)

Me: “Hello, miss! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Give me that!”

Me: “Um, what?”

Customer: *points to my coffee cup* “Give me that! You don’t deserve it. Only rich people like me deserve coffee and tea!”

Me: *sighing and pointing towards the coffee machine* “Miss, if you want some coffee you just need to show me your library card, and you can get some from there.”

Customer: *whips her card out and glares at me* “Here! Now give me your god-d**n coffee!”

(I point to the machine again, then go back to my book and coffee. Out of the corner of my eye, I see her run to the coffee machine, grab the full coffee pot and run out the door.)

Me: “HEY! Give that back!”

Customer: *shouting behind her while running out the door* “You don’t deserve it, you poor little b****!”

(Later on, another library patron who had seen it all came up to me. He told me how the same woman had stolen roses from his flower shop, and said that it was because no one else deserved them.)

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What is the absolute most stupid thing you’ve heard a customer say?

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