Train Of Thoughtless

(It’s peak hour on the train, which basically means everyone is packed on to the point where we can’t breathe. I end up standing with my back to a woman sitting down reading a book. Because the train is so packed there’s nothing for me to hold on to, so when we go around a bend I accidentally fall on top of her. It should be noted that in Australia school uniforms are compulsory.)

Woman: “You f****** scared me!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I lost my balance.”

(She rolls her eyes and goes back to her book. When we get to the station most people get off at, the train stops but the doors don’t open. The woman stands up and starts pushing into my back. She does this several times before I can’t handle it any more.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, would you mind not pushing me? There’s clearly something wrong with the door. None of us can move.”

Woman: “Oh, I’m sorry. I just thought you might want to know what it’s like to have someone squash you.”

Me: “I already apologised for that. I’m sorry. It was an accident. I lost my footing, because, you know, not all of us are lucky enough to have a seat in the section intended for elderly, disabled and other people who can’t stand up for the long time.”

Woman: “I might have a disability! How dare you judge me?!”

Me: “Clearly you don’t, as you’ve been standing up and pushing me for several minutes.”

Woman: *mumbling loudly* “Get your mother to drive you to f****** high school next time.”

Woman: “Yes, ma’am, because I’m definitely going to high school. At 7.30 am. In purple jeans.”

(The doors finally open, she mumbles something else and walks off the train, making sure she shoulders me and nearly knocks me over on the way.)