Why Guidance Counselors Shouldn’t Drink

(I am running a bocce ball tournament, and this guest starts talking to me while I am trying to watch the game and keep score.)

Guest: “You make a lot of money?”

Me: “I make enough.”

Guest: “You know, strippers make a lot of money. I heard of one who makes a thousand dollars a night.”

Me: “Wow.”

Guest: “How old are you?”

Me: “18.”

Guest: “Yeah, you should start now, before s*** starts to sag.”

Me: “…thanks for the advice.”

Guest: “No problem.”