Why Bus Drivers Should Rule The World

(I am in the middle of a long bus ride. A woman is talking extremely loudly on her cell phone. Several other commuters have already moved away from her.)

Driver: “Ma’am. I have to ask you to quiet down. You are disturbing other passengers.”

Woman: “Ugh.”

(She lowers her voice for about three minutes, then begins yelling again.)

Driver: “Ma’am, I told you once already. If I can hear it, it’s too loud. If you don’t take it down a notch you’re getting off at the next stop.”

Woman: *glares* “I am trying to have a private conversation! Will you give me a minute?”

(At this point, a man who had moved away silently stands up, removes the big “Be A Considerate Commuter” sign from the overhead rack, and sits pointedly across from her with it.)

Woman: “Hold on, Lita. Some a** is trying to get my attention.” *covers phone* “If you don’t like it, you can get off the bus! Stop eavesdropping on me!”

Man: “Well, ma’am, at this point, I think you could talk a little louder and dispense with the phone entirely.”

Woman: *flustered and angry* “Whatever! Okay, I’m back, Lita. So, anyway…”

(I hope the next stop was hers, because that’s where the driver left her.)