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Why Barkeeps Should Rule The World, Part 2

, , , | Right | August 6, 2009

Me: “Hey there, mate, what can I get ya?”

Customer: “I’ll have a scotch on the rocks.”

Me: “Coming right up!”

(I serve him his drink, but as soon as I turn around to handle the other customers, a lowball glass comes flying through the air, hits the wall, and shatters to a million pieces. I turn back and see the customer with a frown on his face.)

Me: “Why the h*** did you do that for?!”

Customer: “Why’d you put f****** ice in my drink?! I didn’t ask for no f****** ice!”

Me: “Yes, you did! You asked for scotch on the rocks!”

Customer: “Yeah, and you put ice in it!”

Me: “Do you know what a scotch is?”

Customer: “Whiskey?”

Me: “Exactly. And do you know what ‘on the rocks’ means?”

Customer: “How you make it?”

Me: “No, it stands for ice. Scotch with ice.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “You’re gonna have to pay for the drink and the glass and then get out.”

Customer: “How f****** dare you?!”

Me: “Do you know what ‘on the rocks’ also means?”

Customer: “No! What?!”

(The doorman takes him by the hand, and then tosses him out the front door.)

Related:
Why Barkeeps Should Rule The World

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