Who Needs Learnin’ When You Can Be Sun Burnin’, Part 2

(I am helping a mother and her teenage son go through his summer reading list to find a book that will meet his requirement. I usually do this by working with the kid to find one that they’re genuinely interested in reading, but in this case, the mother keeps interrupting.)

Customer: “My god, look at how long all these books are!”

Me: *to the son* “You said you like mysteries, right? And Then There Were None is on your son’s reading list. I think you’d like it.”

Customer: *looking at the book* “It’s almost four hundred pages! How do you expect him to finish that thing?”

Me: “Well, he does have the whole summer.”

Customer: “Absolutely not! How can they expect him to read that much? It’s insane!”

Customer’s Son: *reading the back cover* “Mom, this actually sounds really good. There are ten people on an island and they start dying one by one.”

Customer: “Honey, you shouldn’t have to read that much. You’ll waste your whole summer! We want a book that’s under a hundred pages.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but none of these books are going to be under a hundred pages. I think the shortest one is about two hundred.”

Customer: “This is so ridiculous. How can they do this to him? Let’s pick a book from that rack over there. Those look much more manageable.”

Me: “Ma’am, that display is required reading for the local elementary school.”

Customer: “I don’t care what it is. We’re picking from there.”

Me: “None of those are on the reading list. Your son is going into tenth grade.”

Customer: “Well, these look like the books I would want to read. If I ever wanted to read, that is.”

Customer’s Son: “I think we should just get the one he recommended. It sounds awesome!”

Customer: “Forget it. You know what? We’re gonna drive by the school so I can complain to the principal. It’s ridiculous for them to expect you to read during the summer! That’s crazy!”