Who Needs Enemies When You’ve Got Bricks

(Note: our store sells kitchen supplies, including a very popular brand of glass cookware made in the USA. Usually, the covers are sold separately from the actual cooking dishes, but we are having a special on display where you get a set of two dishes and their covers for 20 dollars. Not long after we open up for the day, two elderly customers walk in and look at the display.)

Customer: “Where is this made?”

Me: “In the United States, ma’am.”

Customer: “$3.99, huh? I’ll take this set. Can you carry it to the register for me?”

Me: “Actually, that set is $20. If you still want it, I would be happy to carry it to the register for you.”

Customer: “No! The sticker says it’s $3.99!”

Me: “That’s how much the lid costs on its own. If you turn the dish over, you will see it also has its own tag, as does the smaller dish nested inside it.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. How am I supposed to know how much this set costs?!”

(There is a bright red sign that says the price of the set sitting on the table. It’s literally right in front of her face)

Me: “It’s on the sign right there, ma’am.”

Customer: “I don’t look at signs! I look at the product! This is false advertising! It’s fraud! You are a liar!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s not—”

Customer: “My friend bought this set for $3.99 yesterday. You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

Me: “Ma’am, this set has never been, nor will it ever be $3.99. If your friend did receive it for $3.99, she was grossly undercharged by one of my coworkers.”

Customer: “If it doesn’t cost $3.99, then the sticker shouldn’t be on there. You should take all the stickers off! No one looks at the stupid signs. They look at the product!”

(The customer storms out of the store, almost knocking over a display of plastic floral dishes. I can see her outside the store windows ranting to a group of younger people that I assume are her grandchildren. Meanwhile, her friend is still in the store. She picks up a mixing bowl set and brings it to the register.)

Customer’s Friend: *smiling* “Don’t mind her, dear. She’s always been as dumb as a f***ing brick.”

(I was speechless and she left the store before I could respond. She’s my new hero!)