Who Needs Brains When You Have Money

( I worked as a waiter at a country club with a bunch of really “Old Money” snobs. )

Me: “We have a steak (of some kind, I don’t remember). And dude does it sound good!”

Old Money: “Ahem! Excuse me! Did you just say dude?”

Me: “Why yes, sir. I did, I was just saying how good this dish sounds.”

Old Money: “Well, excuse me, young man. Dude AIN’T a word.”

(At this point I’m thinking…are you seriously trying to debate this with an English Major by saying “Ain’t?”)

Me: “Well, sir, actually it is. A dude is a rich old man, like yourself, from the East who thinks they can live on a ranch in the West. And just for the record sir! ‘Ain’t’ is NOT a word! ”

(Needless to say, I wasn’t allowed to wait that Old Man or his family at the Country Club ever again.)