Who Naps BEFORE The Turkey?!

My grandmother has been incredibly self-centered all of her life, and she will fake illnesses or injuries if attention is paid to someone else. These are very obviously fake, as she will be perfectly happy and healthy and bouncy fifteen minutes later.

My store is open on Thanksgiving Day, and I sadly have an evening shift. My family plans Thanksgiving dinner earlier in the day so that I don’t miss out. Come 1:00 pm, my grandparents haven’t arrived yet, and the food is nearly done.

Mom calls them.

Mom: “Hey, guys, we expected you an hour ago. Oh, you were taking a nap? Well, get ready and come over. We’re serving food at 3:00 pm today.”

Another hour passes, and Mom calls again.

Mom: “Are you coming to dinner today? You went back to sleep?! Get ready! Dinner is in one hour.”

Yet more time passes, and yet again, Mom calls.

Mom: “I told you that dinner was at 3:00 today because [My Name] has to work. Why aren’t you here yet?! GET. HER. OUT. OF. BED!”

We decide that we’ve been patient enough, and the three of us (my parents and I) load up our plates and eat. My grandparents come about halfway through.

Grandmother: *Sounding offended* “You’re eating Thanksgiving without us?”

All Of Us: “YES!”

I was almost late for work, and Mom was furious.

Grandma is still very self-centered, but we no longer reschedule things for her. After missing out on family events completely and being left alone with no attention paid to her, she cut back on pretending illnesses during these times.