Who Knew A Positive Test Result Could Be So Positive?

My sister has employment problems for a long time, to the point that now anything which threatens her income and ability to work is grounds for a panic attack. For the past couple of years, she’s had a really stable job with a good income and a boss who loves her. Due to the health crisis, she’s been working from home for almost a week. Today, her boss calls.

Boss: “Hey, so… you’re going to get a call from Human Resources, and they’ll talk to you about this, too, but I wanted you to hear it from me first.”

This call is taking place soon after 4:00 pm on a Friday. According to my sister, at this moment her lungs stop functioning, her heart stops beating, and her limbs completely lock up.

Boss: “Someone in the office — not in our department, but still someone who came in recently — tested positive today.”

My sister can breathe again, and she ERUPTS with delirious laughter.

Sister: “OH, THANK GOD!”

Boss: “Excuse me?!”

She explains her visceral physiological reaction to his call.

Sister: “I thought you were about to fire me!”

Boss: “What?! No! What would make you think that?!”

Sister: “BECAUSE YOU SAID HUMAN RESOURCES!”

Luckily, they get along great, so they both laughed about it, and she called us after to calm down from the emotional whirlwind. I’m sure there’s some moral in all of this about priorities, but for now, we’re just enjoying the moment of humor where we can get it.