White And Privileged? Get A Gold Star!

I needed to get my license renewed. As I was waiting in the DMV, they passed out these pamphlets that detailed something called a Real ID — basically just specially-marked cards with a gold star in the corner that indicated whether the cardholder had shown the DMV agent proof of being a citizen of the States at the time of renewal, and these stars would be required for domestic air travel and entering federal buildings by 2020.

I thought to myself that it was unfortunate that I didn’t have the papers for it at the time, but I wasn’t about to lose my place in line to go get my birth certificate. When I was called up, the agent had me take a new picture and read the letters for the vision test. I remember being completely unable to see a thing; all the letters were just blurry blobs of colour. The agent told me to guess. I did, apparently, well enough; she gave me my new license without any further ado and didn’t even tell me to get glasses. (I got them of my own accord a few months later.)

About a week later, my non-paper ID card came in the mail. It had a star, marking it as a real ID. I guess I looked white enough, or sounded ditzy enough, or both, so the agent just marked it as a real ID without the required papers.

Your security is in good hands, folks.