Whip Up Some Innuendo

, , , , , | Right | August 31, 2019

(I’m working in a coffee shop making people’s drinks. A customer comes over to me as I’m working.)

Customer: “I’ve had a really awful day. Could I ask you a favor?”

Me: “Sure, I will see if it’s something I can help you with.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you! I know it’s bad, but I really need a good whipping! Will you please give me the best whipping you can?”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Don’t worry; I am a master with the whip. I will be sure to give you a good, strong, whipping.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you! That would…” *suddenly realizes what they said and turns bright red* “Oh, my God! I can’t believe I said that! I meant that I’m trying to cut dairy out of my diet, but I really want whipped cream today. But since it’s a treat I don’t want the runny whipped cream.”

Me: *laughing* “Here you go: a coconut caramel macchiato with extra whipped cream, the good kind.”

Customer: “Bless your heart! You are a goddess!”

(They left smiling, walking past my coworker who was fluffing the pastry case while another customer asked them where we kept our “butt plugs” so their drink wouldn’t spill.)

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