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Which Vitamin Makes You Into A Jerk?

, , , , , | Related | May 1, 2020

My grandma moved in with us about a year ago. Ever since, she has been driving us insane. She hates the way we do things and looks for any tiny excuse to complain and say we hate her. Dad has to serve as intermediary because she refuses to listen to anyone else talk. Then, she complains that Dad never takes her side because, “I’m your mother; you should listen to me!”

She takes a very specific brand of vitamins that aren’t sold in stores, at least not here. Mom orders them for her on Amazon. When the vitamins come, Grandma takes the package to her room before she opens it so no one ever sees the bottle. The pills come with the option to have Vitamin K or not. Grandma wants it with Vitamin K, so that’s what Mom orders.

However, this time, Amazon sent the wrong vitamins and Grandma got the ones without Vitamin K. She doesn’t tell us this until AFTER she takes them all. She blames Mom for giving her the wrong stuff. I’m in my bedroom when this happens, but I can hear every word.

Mom: “I ordered the ones with Vitamin K.”

Grandma: “No, you didn’t! You ordered the ones without Vitamin K. You just don’t want me to have my vitamins. You want me dead!”

Mom: “[Grandma], according to Amazon, I ordered the ones with Vitamin K. Give me a minute to pull it up and I’ll show you.”

Grandma: “Don’t bother! You ordered the wrong ones! You just want to see me suffer.”

She takes the stairlift upstairs but keeps yelling.

Grandma: “I need the ones with Vitamin K. Why can’t you just get me what I want?”

Mom: “That’s what I ordered.”

Dad: “Where’s the bottle?”

Grandma: “In the trash!”

Dad: “Why did you throw it away?”

Grandma: “Because it was empty! I need more. Make sure she orders the ones with Vitamin K. The pills are green! These ones were brown.”

She slams her bedroom door shut. Mom shows Dad what she ordered, and Dad heads upstairs.

Dad: “Mom, [Mom] ordered the right thing. Amazon sent the wrong one. If you had read the label, you would’ve seen that it doesn’t have Vitamin K in it and we could’ve sent them back.”

Grandma: “I don’t read labels! I go by the color!”

Dad: “You need to read the label.” 

Grandma: “No, I don’t! The pills should’ve been green, and these ones were brown.”

Dad: “So… why did you take them?”

Grandma: “Well, I needed vitamins.”

Dad: “But if you had told us, we could’ve fixed it. If you had read the label, we could’ve sent them back before you opened them.”

Grandma: “I don’t read the label! I don’t need to!”

Dad: “What if they had changed the packaging?”

Grandma: “They wouldn’t do that. I’ve been taking these pills for sixty years and they’ve never changed the packaging. The pills are green, and these were brown. Make sure [Mom] orders the right ones!”

Dad: “She did! Amazon made a mistake.”

Grandma: “Why would Amazon make a mistake?” 

Dad: “Because they’re not perfect! They can make mistakes just like anyone else!”

Grandma: “No, they don’t.”

Dad: *Pause* “You’re insane. Read the label next time, and if there’s a problem, tell us so we can do something about it!”

Grandma: “No. I don’t need to read the label.”

Dad leaves her.

Dad: “Crazy lady!”

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