I Know Where You Can Stuff Those Smudge Sticks

, , , , , | Right | March 26, 2018

(Lately there has been a commercial going around for a popular glass cleaning brand. In it, birds use a “smudge stick” to make the glass not clear.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. Welcome to [Store]. What can I help you find today?”

Customer: “I need one of those smudge-stick thingies as a Halloween decoration. I want to put fake hand prints on my windows.”

Me: “I’m guessing you saw that in a commercial.”

Customer: “Yes, I did! Now where would they be?”

Me: “Actually, that commercial is advertising [Popular Glass Cleaner], ma’am. Smudge sticks aren’t a thing. May I suggest just placing your hand on the window repeatedly?”

Customer: “No, no, no! That makes no f****** sense! If they wanted to clean the window, why would they smudge it?! Your lazy a*** just doesn’t want to help me!”

(She then proceeds to slam her shopping trolley into me, clearly enraged.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “NO! I have done nothing to deserve being kicked out. Now, take your lazy a*** OVER TO THE SMUDGE STICKS!”

(The security guards near the entrance heard the commotion and escorted her out. She is now banned from our store, and I haven’t heard from her since.)

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