Where Politically Correct Dreams (Don’t) Come True

(My cousin’s daughter is playing with her Disney princess toy set. My adult sister is playing with her. I come and join in.)

Cousin’s Daughter: “It’s time for Cinderella to go to bed!”

(She begins to strip Cinderella of her dress and places her facedown on the bed, naked.)

Me: “Uh…Cinderella can’t sleep like that.”

Cousin’s Daughter: “Why?”

Me: “Well, she’s facedown on the pillow. She won’t be able to breathe.”

Cousin’s Daughter: *ignoring me* “And now Ariel and Jasmine have to find a place to sleep!”

Sister: “But, there’s only one bed! Where will they sleep?”

Cousin’s Daughter: “Together!”

(She proceeds to strip Ariel and Jasmine, and places them on top of each other.)

Me: “Uh…”

Sister: “Is that really an appropriate way for them to sleep?”

Cousin’s Daughter: “Yep!”

Me: *aside to my sister* “I can’t take this. I’m going to lose it.”

Sister: “Don’t you dare leave me alone with her.”

Cousin’s Daughter: *picking up Tiana* “And now, it’s time for Tiana to go to bed! Oh dear, there’s no more room in the house.”

Me: “So, what now?”

Cousin’s Daughter: “Oh, she can sleep outside.”

(My sister and I are both holding back laughter.)

Me: *aside to my sister* “She’s making the black princess sleep outside. On the ground.”

Sister: “She’s four… give her a break.”

(Our cousin, the young girl’s mother comes over.)

Cousin: *to her daughter* “Aw, honey. Are you and your aunties having fun?”

(She notices dolls still in their positions.)

Cousin: “What… what’s going on with your princesses, dear? Why are they all naked?”

Me: *to my sister* “Now’s our chance! Run!”

This story is part of our Terrible Cousins roundup!

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