When You’re Just A Pencil Pusher

We have a boss in the office who gets by doing the bare minimum. Because he does technically complete all his tasks, he doesn’t get into trouble for it, but he won’t do the tasks well or lift a finger to help anyone.

This boss also went to a very expensive school, usually frequented by England’s most elite families.

I also have a coworker (I’ll call him John), who works in tech support. John is from the north of England, with an accent to match. [Boss] seems to think that makes John stupid, which annoys him every time he needs John’s assistance for anything technical. This means he finds ways to get back at him with snarky comments.

Boss: “John, what school did you go to?”

John: “The University of Sheffield.”

Boss: “What’s the matter? Couldn’t get into Oxbridge?”

John: “Why would I want to go there when I could stay local and still get a degree from a perfectly good university?”

Boss: “Well, I guess even the soft pencils need a uni for themselves too sometimes.”

John: “A soft… what?”

Boss: “You know… when someone isn’t exactly the sharpest pencil in the box.” *Stares pointedly.*

John: “Well, [Boss], a sharp pencil is a sign it ain’t ever done a bit of work.”

The boss never said another word to John after that. He was very annoyed when we all started using ‘sharp pencil’ as an insult, and looked at him when we did so.