When You’re High On Coke

(We have run out of Diet Coke. A woman comes in.)

Woman: “WHERE’S THE DIET COKE?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we’ve ran out today. We’ll have more tomorrow—”

Woman: “I NEED MY DIET COKE!”

Me: “We have our own brand diet cola; it tastes more or less the same? I can—”

Woman: *grabs a bottle of non-diet Coca-Cola* “I’LL HAVE TO HAVE THIS! AND IT’S YOUR FAULT WHEN I PUT ON WEIGHT THROUGH ALL THE CALORIES IN THIS!” *heads to till*

Me: “Umm…”