When Your Customer Is A Very Heavy Smoker

Customer: *on phone* “Hi, do you have smoke bombs to get rid of animals indoors?”

Me: “Yes, we do carry smoke bombs, but the only ones we have are for outside; you light the bomb and put it in the burrow or the hole the animal’s living in and the smoke drives them out.”

Customer: “Why wouldn’t that work indoors?”

Me: “They’re really not designed to be set off anywhere but outside…”

Customer: “But I just need to get rid of some animals in a little crevice in my house. I could use those smoke bombs for that, right?”

Me: “I really would not advise that.”

Customer: “But why not, though? Can you tell me why it wouldn’t work?”

Me: “Um… let me put my manager on the phone.”

(I put the customer on hold and call my manager over to get him to pick up the phone to help the customer.)

Manager: “What’s up?”

Me: “Would you care to explain to someone why they cannot set off outdoor smoke bombs inside their house?”

Manager: “Oh, you can set smoke bombs off in your house no problem. Just as long as you don’t mind being asphyxiated from the fumes a few minutes later.”