When You Wrong The Wrong Customer

Customer: “Gimme some smokes. [Brand].”

Me: “May I see some ID, please, sir?”

Customer: “I’m military.”

Me: “Thank you for your service, but I still need to see your ID.”

Customer: “Where is your manager?”

I call my manager over.

Manager: “How can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Your stupid Mexican girl won’t sell me my smokes without ID, but I served in the military, so I don’t need no ID! And even if I did, I was born in 1990, so that makes me like twice the legal age to smoke!”

Manager: “Sir, you are so wrong that I think your wrongness went all the way around to being right and ended up being wrong again. I can’t list all the ways you’re wrong; technically, mathematically, racially, legally…”

Customer: “What the f***, dude?! I just want my smokes!”

Manager: “And all we’re asking for is ID.”

The customer begrudgingly shows some ID, which confuses me; if he had it to begin with why cause all the drama?

Manager: “Thank you, sir. However, calling my staff a ‘stupid Mexican girl’ is also wrong as she is smart, she is ethnically Venezuelan, and she is a woman. Apologize to her, or I will refuse your sale.”

Customer: “I showed you my ID! You can’t refuse my sale!” 

Manager: “I can, and I am. You just lost your chance to smoke in the next few minutes. Have a nice day, sir!”

Customer: “F*** you, you [gay slur]!”

Manager: *Flashes the rainbow tattoo on his wrist* “Finally, he gets something right! Bye!” 

It was a glorious exit.