When You Wish They’d Gas You Up — Literally

It is 2021, and I am at work. The media has drummed up a company not having enough drivers into a full-on national shortage. Idiots everywhere are racing to fill up their cars, Jerry cans, and all sorts of containers… leaving emergency services and people who actually need fuel short.

Me: “Man, I’m sick of these petrol muppets. I can’t fill up anywhere. I’ve had to car share, and he barely has any, either.”

Coworker #1: “I know. I waited an hour to fill up my car, and then I had to go back and do my wife’s.”

Coworker #2: “You cycle to work, and you both don’t go anywhere. Why are you rushing to fill up both cars?”

Coworker #1: “Well, there might be an emergency.”

Me: “What sort of emergency needs you to have two cars full of petrol?”

Coworker #1: “I don’t know. I just wanted to be sure. It’s not like I even took lots of petrol. I only put fifteen in my wife’s car.”

Coworker #2: “That’s worse; you didn’t even need to go!”

Coworker #1: “Well, I’m sorted now. So…”

Me: “You’re sorted, but everyone else who can’t even find a drop can what? Go f*** themselves? If I can’t get here, I don’t get paid, [Coworker #1]!”

[Coworker #1] genuinely didn’t seem to care. He kept cycling in to work as more people struggled to make it in, all the while complaining about how hard it was on him because he could drive across the country on a whim.