When You Sound Scottish In The Red October

It’s started to get chilly. A coworker of mine is helping an elderly customer load purchases into his car. My coworker, who’s a young woman, steps outside in her store uniform without a coat or sweater, to the customer’s horror.

Customer: “Oh, please, no, I’m perfectly all right. You must be freezing!”

Coworker: “It’sh fine! I really don’t mind the weather, and I’d hate to shee you shpill any of your items. I’ll only be out for a few sheconds.”

Customer: “Thank you! But, ah… you must be from somewhere very cold if you don’t mind this weather! Russia? Somewhere I’d hate to even visit!”

Coworker: *Laughing* “No, shir, I’m from jusht acrosh the Hudshon River!”

Customer: “But then where’s your accent from?”

Coworker: “My akshent…? Oh! It’sh from dental shurgery.”

Customer: “Ahh… actually, the Russian winter doesn’t seem so bad by contrast.”