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When You Mete Out Revenge Long Enough To See Yourself Become The Villain

, , , , , , | Right | September 26, 2022

I check into a hotel. For the first two days, nothing notable happens. Then, one night at around two in the morning, the room phone rings. Thinking it is an emergency, I answer.

Me: “Hello?”

Caller #1: “Are there any rooms available right now?”

Me: *Confused pause* “Sir, I think you somehow misdialed. This is one of the guest rooms in the hotel, not the front desk.”

Caller #1: “My God! I am terribly sorry!”

Me: “Don’t worry about it. Accidents happen.” *Hangs up*

The next day, the phone rings again.

Caller #2: “Hello! I’m looking to make a reservation—”

Me: “Madam, this is one of the guest rooms, not the front desk. I think there is a crossed line or something.”

The woman apologizes and hangs up. That’s when I go to the desk to complain. The manager at the desk rolls her eyes.

Manager: “These lines have been doing that on and off for some reason. We’ve asked over and over for someone to come fix it, but months later, it starts up again. I’m tired of dealing with it. Just tell them to hang up and try again.”

Me: “Excuse me, I don’t like being woken up at one in the morning—”

Manager: “Well… unplug the phone. Problem solved!” *Walks away*

Seriously irked, I return to my room. I do consider unplugging the phone from the wall, but this is during the mid-1990s when we don’t have cellphones, and the only way my business partner or my wife can get ahold of me in an emergency is by the phone number of my hotel room!

That night, at around one in the morning, the phone rings again.

Caller #3: “Hello, are there any rooms available?”

I look outside to see the “No Vacancy” light lit up.

Me: “Sure, we have a sale on a deluxe suite for [ridiculously low price]. Ask for [Manager’s Full Name].”

And the next call:

Caller #4: “Hello, we’d like to book a reservation for twenty-five people.”

Me: “No problem!”

I pretend to take down their details.

Me: “We’ll even give you a 40% group discount! Make sure you tell them that [Manager] booked it for you and authorized the discount!”

Next call:

Caller #5: “Hello, are there any rooms available?”

I look out the window to see the “Vacancy” sign lit up.

Me: “No, unfortunately, we are all booked up today. But, for the inconvenience, we do offer a 30% discount with our partnering hotels, [Competitors]. Give them the name [Manager] and the hotel number—” *reads the number from my receipt* “—and they’ll get you fixed up.”

I just wish I would have been around to watch the h** that that woman caught. And yes, that doggone phone was randomly ringing all throughout the week (and in the middle of the night!) with customer calls that were misdirected to my room phone.

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