When You Marry A Toddler

When my husband is upset, he doesn’t think logically. I turn the TV off by pressing the power button instead of using the remote, mainly because the remote has been playing up and it has to be held at an exact angle to work. The next day, the remote will not turn the TV on at all.

My husband starts yelling at me.

Husband: “THIS IS YOUR FAULT! YOU BROKE THE CONNECTION TO THE TV BECAUSE YOU USED THE POWER BUTTON TO TURN IT OFF!”

Me: “We probably need a new remote.”

I walk over to the TV.

My husband starts tapping on the remote power button over and over, whining and yelling.

Husband: “THE SHOPS ARE CLOSED AND I WANT TO WATCH TV NOW. HOW AM I GOING TO WATCH TV? I CAN’T TURN IT ON.”

Me: “Can you actually hear yourself? You are worse than a two-year-old.”

Husband: *Pouting* “I just want to watch TV. How am I going to do that?”

I press the power button on the TV and it turns on. He starts mashing on the channel buttons and whining that they aren’t working, either. I open a flap on the TV and use the channel buttons to choose the right channel. He settles down as I am leaving the room.

Husband: “Oh… What if I need to change channels?”

Me: “You have legs.”

Did I mention that he works IT for a large telco? He is always complaining that most of the faults he deals with are because users have forgotten to turn their monitors on.

He didn’t want to waste money on a new remote. A couple of weeks later, I was away for the weekend and came home to find him watching a huge flatscreen.