When You Live All The Way Out In The Su-Blurbs
The phone rings. I answer.
Me: “Thanks for calling [Bookstore]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, I’ve got a list of books. I need you to read me the entire back cover on each of them.”
Me: “We can certainly check if they’re in stock for you.”
Customer: “No, no, I don’t care about stock. Just read me the backs. All of them. I want to know if I like the sound before I drive over.”
Me: “Sir, that would take quite a bit of time. Maybe you could check the descriptions online?”
Customer: “I don’t trust the internet. You’ll read them. I’ve got twelve books on this list.”
Me: “Twelve?”
Customer: “Yeah. Start with number one. And don’t skip a word. I’ll know if you skip a word.”
Me: “Sir, I can help with quick questions, but I can’t read out twelve entire blurbs over the phone while there are customers in the store.”
Customer: “Why not? I’m a paying customer!”
Me: “Not yet, you’re not.”
Customer: “So you’re refusing service? I’ll just take my business elsewhere!”
Me: “Sir, this is a bookstore, not an audiobook service. Make the drive over and read the blurbs yourself. It’ll be good practice for reading the whole thing—”
Customer: *Click.*
