When You Know You’ve Worked Too Many Doubles

, | Right | February 19, 2015

(I’m working the drive-thru late at night when a man pulls up to the window wearing a latex horse mask; his friend in the passenger’s seat is wearing a Guy Fawkes mask.)

Driver: “Evening. I’d like some cheese, please.”

(I stand there for a few seconds, wondering if I’m dreaming.)

Me: “…you mean a cheeseburger?”

Driver: “No, just a slice of cheese, thanks.”

(Without breaking my line of sight with the driver, I grab a single slice of cheese and give it to him.)

Driver: “Thank you. Would you like a turtle?”

(The passenger reaches into the back seat and pulls from it a large snapping turtle.)

Me: “No thank you, sir.”

Driver: “You sure? His name’s Waylon.”

Me: “I’m sure, sir.”

Driver: “Well, have a nice night.”

(I have yet to tell any of my co-workers about this in fear of them laughing and saying I made it up.)

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