When You Don’t Know What You’ve Got, You’ll Lose It

I have worked for a small business for about ten years. I trained myself, implemented the system, trained the office, and ran the place for years. I had great relations with my boss even outside of work for a long time. Even though I had a lot of resentments, I had such a good relationship with her that I never voiced anything. However, things started to change.

It started when she gave me an official manager’s title with a small pay raise… but gave me zero authority. Even though I was managing the employees, keeping the office running, taking all angry client calls, etc., I had no authority over any employees there and the employees knew it. I was consistently disrespected and walked all over and my boss never had my back.

One employee left, and a year later, I learned that she quit because of me. She was mad that she didn’t get the position and I was younger than her, even though she constantly had to come ask me questions on how to do her job and had only been there for two years.

Things got worse after that with another employee. She would give me glares every day and always gave me the silent treatment. I came to my boss countless times asking her to either discipline her or fire her. Her work was an entry-level job and she could be easily replaced. Although my boss agreed, she would never do anything about it.

Things finally came to a head, and this employee and I had it out in my boss’s office. I tried to remain calm and respectful even though she was angry and emotional. The only reason she said she was mad at me is that I “treated her differently” than the other employees. When I asked for specific ways I treated her differently, she couldn’t state any specifics. I told her she was consistently giving me silent treatments, so yeah, she was going to be treated differently. The conversation ended with me getting reprimanded by my boss. I was baffled.

After the employee left the room, my boss told me that she completely agreed with me but thought that was the best way to handle it to keep things calm. I couldn’t believe it. From that point forward, that employee gossiped about me and treated me terribly until the day she finally left. 

There were some other terrible things, but I stuck around because I got to work from home. 

Fast forward to 2020. All my boss’s hires have either left or been fired. My hires still remain. My boss always hires friends of friends and it never works out. We need another employee as I am pregnant. I beg her to let me hire someone, but she has another “friend” that she wants to bring in. She says she wants me to interview her, so I do.

There are red flags, but before I can bring anything up, my boss says she is already hired. She has taken so long to bring her on board that I’m a few months from having the baby and I have minimal time to train her. I do my best and give her all the tools she needs to train herself if she needs refreshers.

Days after I have the baby, I start getting phone calls from work. I end up working from home and continuing to train her, but it’s like nothing is sticking. No matter how I say it or do it and no matter how many notes she takes, she always come, back to me saying, “I’m still green on this.”

At this point, I’m just checked out. I’m so frustrated with everything and this employee is clearly not working out, but she is my boss’s friend, so what can I do? They keep calling me asking questions on simple stuff they should know and then argue with me about the answer. I always keep the conversation short as my frustrations are high.

In November, it all comes to a head. My boss calls me and she is pissed. She has never raised her voice at me, but she is berating me about contacting an employer.

Boss: “I told you not to contact [Employer]! I told you to only let me or [New Hire] contact her!”

Me: “You never told me that.”

Boss: “It’s been an office policy for months.”

Me: “Well, that would have been nice to know.”

Boss: “It just really seems that you don’t want to work here anymore.”

I am fuming at this point and I can tell that this is her way of firing me without actually firing me. She is trying to get me to quit.

Me: “If you don’t want me there, I will quit.”

She said it was probably best that she have an employee in the office instead of working at home, and she asked me to do a few things before I quit. I got those few things done that day. I sent her an email and presented her with the work she asked for and asked her to tell me when she wanted my last day to be.

She took several days to respond. My husband told me I should have just quit that day, and I should have. She ended up realizing that the office couldn’t handle me just quitting that quickly, so she asked me to work through the end of the year. I agreed. I trained the ladies who worked there, and on December 31, I was done. 

I spent the next month wondering if I was wrong. Maybe I didn’t do things as I should. Maybe my frustrations were selfish. Maybe the office was better off without me.

And then last night, I got a call from one of the girls I hired. Ever since I left, my boss’s friend has turned into a tyrant. My boss has completely changed and is now angry and mean. One employee quit a few weeks after I left and the employee who called me is also thinking of quitting, as are others. She also said things are falling apart there. I’m not a vindictive person, but it makes me feel so justified that the business isn’t holding together since I left. I also know that if even one more employee leaves, that company is done for. It’s a small business and it won’t be able to manage.