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When You Can’t Convince ‘Em, Confuse ‘Em

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: SadClownPittyOrgy | September 27, 2021

I help an elderly lady at the grocery store grab something from the top shelf. After she goes on her merry way, I turn around and see a woman just glaring at me.

Me: “Can I help you?”

Woman: “Yes, you can! I’m looking for whole milk chocolate milk, but all you have is 2% chocolate milk! Why don’t you have whole milk chocolate milk?”

Me: “I’m not sure why they don’t have whole chocolate milk, but an alternative is buying regular whole milk and some chocolate syrup.”

Woman: “You expect me to pay more for your failure to stock whole chocolate milk?! You are trying to rip me off! Where is your manager?!”

Me: “I don’t work here, but even if I did, how would this issue be at all my fault?”

Woman: “If you don’t work here, then why were you helping that woman just now?”

Me: “Because I was just being helpful.”

Woman: “Bulls***. You work here and you are trying to rip me off!”

So, at this point, logic isn’t working.

Me: “Look, if it wasn’t for the secret elves that live inside my spleen, I’d gladly help you find your milk, but sadly, they don’t take days off and I really don’t want another egg soup incident again. So, if you will excuse me, I have a plane to catch.”

I spread my arms, turned around, and made airplane noises as I quickly walked away. She was left there speechless.

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