When YOU Are The Machine

I am bagging a customer’s groceries as she is about to pay.

Customer: *Looking at the card machine* “What am I supposed to do?”

Cashier: “What does the screen say?”

Customer: “It says, ‘Insert, swipe, or tap.’ What does that mean?”

Cashier: “If you’re paying with a card, then insert it if it has a chip. If it doesn’t, go ahead and swipe it.”

Customer: “I’m not paying with a card. I’m paying with cash. Do I swipe it or insert it?”

The cashier glances at me with a look that says, “Is she serious?”

Cashier: “If you’re paying with cash, you can just hand it to me.”

Customer: “Oh. These machines are so confusing! It didn’t tell me what to do with my cash, so how am I supposed to know to hand it to you?”

Cashier: “Well, they are card machines.”