When They’re Not Pro Pronoun, Part 6
Names have been changed, but for the sake of the story, know that I am a woman named Sam, short for Samantha. I joined an office and am part of a team spread over several satellite offices, so I don’t meet all my team in person for a few months.
One coworker sees my name, Sam, and assumes I’m a guy. Despite making several references to me being a woman, he doesn’t get the hint. It’s only when the company updates our staff profiles with a pronouns field does this coworker sees that I am she/her.
A few months after this, after having met this coworker a few times now, we’re chatting after a presentation.
Coworker: “So we have a new guy on the team. Have you met him?”
Me: “Them.”
Coworker: “Huh?”
Me: “They go by the pronouns they/them.”
Coworker: “I’m not going to call one person two people. That’s just grammatically wrong on top of all the other wrongs.”
Me: “How do you refer to someone if you don’t know their gender?”
Coworker: “Duh! By how they look.”
Me: “We corresponded by email for the first few months I joined. You saw the name Sam and just assumed I was a dude.”
Coworker: “Uh… well… I don’t think I did.”
Me: “I’m pretty sure you did.”
Coworker: “Yeah, but it doesn’t matter because you’re not trans.”
Me: “And you know that how?”
Coworker: “Because you’re obviously a woman!”
Me: “If I were trans, you just gave me a huge compliment! Thank you!”
Coworker: “Yeah, but you’re not.”
Me: “You sure?”
I stare long and hard. I even wink.
Coworker: “Uh… I have a meeting.” *Slinks away.*
[Coworker] never spoke to me in person ever again, and it was wonderful.
Related:
When They’re Not Pro Pronoun, Part 5
When They’re Not Pro Pronoun, Part 4
When They’re Not Pro Pronoun, Part 3
When They’re Not Pro Pronoun, Part 2
When They’re Not Pro Pronoun
