When They’re Not Pro Pronoun, Part 5
My brother is back from a military tour, so the whole family has gathered for a meal to enjoy his company. This includes the one bad uncle that all families have.
Uncle: “Hey, [Brother], now that the Republicans are back in power, is the military less gay?”
My Dad: “[Uncle], careful now.”
Uncle: “What? I’m just asking.”
Brother: “It’s as gay as it’s always been and always will be, [Uncle]. These days, the only ones who care are the unemployed fat-a** civilians who have nothing better to do than shout at the TV!”
Uncle: “I gotta job!”
This is true. [Uncle] has a job, technically, as a school bus driver, but is on unpaid suspension while he is under investigation for possible DUI.
Me: *Trying to turn the meal around.* “Anyway, [Brother], now that you’re back for a few weeks, do you want to—”
Uncle: “—The military was better when it was that don’t ask, don’t tell thing! Now it’s all feelings and marines making TikToks and having pronouns!”
My Dad: “[Uncle], that’s enough! F****** stop!”
Uncle: “Yeah, well f*** you! And f*** your pronouns! We didn’t need them when I was a kid!”
Grandma: *Butting in out of nowhere.* “Weren’t your favorite cartoons as a kid, He-Man and She-Ra?”
Uncle was confused, some of us laughed, and I was FINALLY able to change the subject. I don’t know why we allow [Uncle] to come to these things anymore…
Related:
When They’re Not Pro Pronoun, Part 4
When They’re Not Pro Pronoun, Part 3
When They’re Not Pro Pronoun, Part 2
When They’re Not Pro Pronoun
