When Their Brains Are As Empty As The Cases They Stole

I help my uncle run his market stall. It’s very popular; he sells second-hand video games and consoles. Prices are better than most shops, and while the games are a little older, he knows his stuff and only buys the better titles.

A woman and her child come to the stall with a game in hand.

Customer: “My son bought this game the other day, and when he got it home, it was empty.”

Me: “Can I see the case?”

The case is for an eighteen-rated game. The boy looks fifteen at most. I know I didn’t serve him, and my uncle is very strict on this sort of thing. But maybe he got a friend to buy it for him.

Me: “Okay, I’m sorry this happened. Do you remember who served you?”

Customer’s Son: “I don’t know, a woman.”

There are no women that work here.

Me: “Okay, and when was this?”

Customer: “Can’t we hurry this up? He wants his game.”

Me: “Of course, but if I know when, I can find where the game has been put.”

This is a lie, but I must have told it convincingly.

Customer’s Son: “Er, Monday or Tuesday?”

Customer: “It was Monday, as I had my hair appointment. Can we have the game now, please?!”

Me: “Sure, do you have the receipt?”

Customer’s Son: “No, I lost it.”

Me: “Funny, I thought you were going to say that. Because there are no women that work here, and the cases on the shelves are empty because people steal them.”

Customer: “How dare you accuse my son?! I will call the police, the paper, I will make sure everyone knows what sort of—”

Me: “Oh, shut up. He stole it, and while he was standing there lying to the both of us, I found the video from Monday, proving he stole it.” *To him* “I’m not sure how you missed the signs that the cases are empty and the signs about the camera, but here we are.”

The customer tells her son off; mainly, it seems for embarrassing her and not actually for stealing. She turns back to me.

Customer: “Okay, so can I buy the game now?”

Me: “Sorry, it’s rated eighteen, and I know you’re buying it for a child.”

Customer: “It’s for me.”

Me: “I doubt that. Next, please.”

She made a scene, but being a marketplace, everyone just kind of ignored her or thought it was funny. My uncle’s only comment was that he wished he had been there to see it. Business is as busy as it ever has been.