When The Dollhouse Becomes The Madhouse

(My husband and I are at a well-known toy store, and they are running a coupon where you get ten dollars off if you spend a hundred dollars. We’re in line with our small amount of purchases — we don’t need the coupon ourselves — and we happen to get behind a guy who is clutching a smaller, plastic dollhouse in a death grip. He puts the dollhouse on the counter and beams proudly.)

Customer: “You know, I’m so glad I finally found this dollhouse! I’ve been to seven different toy stores, and I drove over an hour because you guys said you had it when I called.”

Employee: “Well, happy to help, sir.”

Customer: “My daughter’s birthday is the same day as Christmas, and she’s turning five. This is the only thing my wife wanted me to buy and I forgot to get it. I’m so glad you had it!”

Employee: “That’s what we’re here for, sir. Your total comes to $26.95.”

Customer: “Here’s a coupon for ten bucks off.” *hands over a coupon for ten off of a hundred*

Employee: “Sir, I cannot accept that coupon on this purchase. The total purchase has to be for a hundred dollars for the coupon to work.”

Customer: *no longer very thankful* “WHAT? IT DOESN’T SAY THAT! WHERE DOES IT SAY THAT? SHOW ME!”

(Even from behind him we can see the print on the coupon, which clearly says, “Ten dollars off a hundred-dollar purchase.” She points to the bold print, and he goes ballistic.)

Customer: “You’re just doing this to ruin my daughter’s birthday! You could take that coupon, but you want to see my daughter suffer! My wife will kill me if I don’t come home with this dollhouse! You’ll give me this coupon right now!”

Employee: “Sir, I am not going to give you this coupon on a twenty-five-dollar purchase. A manager will not give you this coupon on a twenty-five-dollar purchase. You can of course ask, but it won’t happen.”

Customer: *now looking at my husband* “You see how they do us? This b**** does this stuff for kicks! She wants to ruin my daughter’s birthday! She wants to ruin my daughter’s Christmas! She wants to piss my wife off! Hey, man, back me up. She should give me the discount, right?”

My Husband: “No, she should have you kicked out. And if I were in your shoes, I’d either buy the d*** toy, the toy you forgot, the only toy you were supposed to get, and pay full price, or go back and pick out seventy-five more dollars’ worth of stuff so I could get my coupon. I wouldn’t yell at a young woman for something she can’t change, and I wouldn’t take my frustrations of my own stupidity out on her, either. Now, just buy the toy so we can ring up, and let this girl go home sometime tonight.”

(The guy looked at my husband as if he was ready to fight, but as my husband was easily a good eight inches taller than him and a lot bigger than him, he instead threw the dollhouse on the ground and marched out of the store screaming, “I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY! YOU’VE RUINED MY DAUGHTER’S BIRTHDAY! YOU’VE RUINED CHRISTMAS! MY WIFE IS GOING TO KILL ME!” The cashier, who had looked a little worried up until this point, thanked my husband profusely for backing her up. The guy lost his mind all because he couldn’t buy an already cheap dollhouse for ten dollars less. I’m pretty sure the loss of the dollhouse isn’t the thing that ruined his poor child’s Christmas.)