When The Customer Is Unable To Top Your Argument

I work in an ice cream shop. On a brutally hot summer day, a father, mother, and two kids come up to me and ask for their chosen flavors of ice cream. I serve them with no problems, we finish the transaction, and they go away.

A couple of minutes later, however, they come back and stand in front of me.

Mother: “Could we have you dip our ice cream in the chocolate topping?”

Me: “Oh, I am sorry, but this is not possible.”

Mother: “We’re not asking for it for free; we’ll pay you!”

Me: “Sorry again, but I cannot do this; you already ate part of the ice cream.”

Mother: “So?”

Me: *With a blank stare* “You already licked the ice cream, so I cannot dip it into the chocolate.”

Mother: *Getting angry* “You’re calling me unsanitary?!”

Me: “Ma’am, would you really want your chocolate topping mixed with another customer’s saliva?”

Mother: “Of course not! But this is completely different!”

Me: “No, ma’am, it’s not. However, I can give you a small cup of a topping of your choice and you can drizzle or sprinkle it on your cone with a spoon.”

The father cuts off his wife’s next argument:

Father: “Yes, please, that would be great!”

The kids are excited to pick out their toppings, and I give each a small cup and a plastic spoon. The kids think this is the coolest thing ever, as they have total control over where the toppings go and can add more after every lick.

The mother tries to continue her argument, but her husband firmly overrules her, pays for the toppings, and walks out. Thankfully, she follows.