When Non-Stick Causes Friction

(A customer approaches me with a pan from one of our non-stick cookware sets.)

Customer: “I need some pots and pans for our new house. However, I’ve heard this Teflon coating can release toxic chemicals into your food.”

Me: “Actually, our vendors did away with Teflon years ago and now use a new, much safer variety of non-stick. What you’re holding, in fact, would really only present a problem if you were to deliberately damage the cooking surface, say, by going at it with a hammer and chisel.”

Customer: “Oh, well, I’ll take two sets then.”

(Several days pass, and the customer comes back and dumps everything he’s bought on my counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I know this isn’t really your fault, but I tried using these and the food tastes really funny–like there are still chemicals being leaked into it. I think you’ve been told some dirty lies by your vendors.”

(I take several of the pans out, and find they all have now have either a small ‘D’ or ‘M’ burned into their cooking surface.)

Me: “What happened to these?”

Customer: “Nothing. My family is insistent that we only use one set of pans dairy and the other set for meat so I made sure to label which were which.”

Me: “Didn’t you hear what I said about damaging the cooking surface?”

Customer: “You said that would only be dangerous if I used a hammer and chisel. So I took them to my jewelry store and did it with a laser engraver instead.”