When Exact Change Is Very Exacting

It’s a busy holiday shift, and I’ve been on the register for hours. A man (late fifties, maybe early sixties) comes up with a few items.

Customer: “That’ll be a hundred and one cents for you.”

He slides me $100 and a penny. I enter it into the system, and the screen spits out the exact change I need to hand back. Then, just as I’m pulling out the bills, he digs back into his pocket.

Customer: “Oh, wait! I’ve got the rest of the change here somewhere. Let’s make this exact!”

He hands me a pile of coins. Unfortunately, once the payment is in, I can’t just delete and start over. Now I need to redo the math manually so the drawer will reconcile later. I grab the ancient calculator we keep around for exactly this kind of mess.

Of course, it sticks and doesn’t register half the numbers I press.

Customer: “Ha! Guess that machine’s as slow as you, huh?”

He laughs at his own joke while I restart the math for the third time.

I just smile tightly, because there’s no good way to explain that it’s not about the math itself; it’s about making sure my drawer matches at the end of the night.

Customer: “What’s taking so long? It’s just a simple subtraction problem!”

Me: “I just need to make sure the totals add up, sir. Almost done.”

Customer: “Hey!” *Turns to my older coworker.* “What’s the change supposed to be?”

Coworker: *Immediately does the subtraction in her head.*

Customer: “See? She’s got it! Kids these days! Can’t even do basic math!”

I hand him his change.

Customer: “Ha! Good thing someone’s teaching you old-school skills!”

Me: “Sir, once you hand me exact change after I’ve already keyed in the payment, you create a mismatch in the system that I have to correct with this broken calculator. I’m not slow. I’m just making sure I don’t get written up because you thought you’d be clever. Also, I’m thirty, not twelve.”

I just smiled as he made his way out of the store, not thinking everything was as funny as before.