When Everyone Is High In Spirits

(My friend has just turned legal drinking age, so we take him out for drinks on his birthday. Needless to say, we get him exceedingly drunk, and he musters up an unnecessary amount of courage to start talking to an attractive woman in the bar.)

Friend: “Hey there sugar-cookie, what’s your name? My number is [his name].”

(The woman is already laughing, and doesn’t stop him.)

Friend: “You’re really hot. We should totally ditch this place and go somewhere or something or other.”

(Another man steps in and gets involved in this interaction.)

Man: “Back off of my girl, buddy. She isn’t going anywhere, especially not with you. You’d better leave now before you get roughed up. Your call.”

(Worried for my friend’s safety, I intervene.)

Me: “Sorry about that, bro. He just turned legal and we put a little too much in him. Don’t let it get to you.”

Friend: *butts back in* “Hey! She’s really hot! You can’t exactly blame me for trying!”

Man: “Well, alright. He’s got a really good point there.”

(I drag my friend away from the couple and take him back to our booth. About ten minutes later, the waitress comes over with a drink. It was for my friend, from the woman that he had hit on.)